The Situation You manage someone who's talented but has been missing deadlines. You need to address this directly, but you want the conversation to strengthen your relationship, not damage it. You want them to hear you clearly and walk away motivated, not defensive.
What's your instinctive approach? (Choose one) A
Before the meeting, you get clear on your goal: "I want them to understand the impact of missed deadlines, and I want us to create a plan together. " You think through how they might respond—they might get defensive or emotional—and you prepare how you'll handle those reactions calmly.
B
You start the conversation by setting the tone: "I want to have an honest conversation about something I've noticed. Can we talk openly, without it feeling like an attack?" You share what you're hoping to accomplish and ask what they need from this conversation, too.
C
You acknowledge what they're doing well first, then address the concern. When they explain their side, you validate their experience: "That sounds really overwhelming." You emphasize that you're on the same team and want to support their success.
D
You ask questions to understand their perspective: "Help me understand what's been happening with the deadlines. " You repeat back what you're hearing: "So it sounds like you've been dealing with competing priorities and weren't sure which to focus on. Is that right?" You make sure they feel heard before problem solving together.